SPOTLIGHT: GNAT

Meet singer-songwriter “Gnat” and their powerfully haunting new single, “Fill.”

Your journey has taken you from solo work to fronting a band and now back to solo. What has that transition been like for you creatively?

It’s been a challenge on either end, for sure, I do feel like when I was making music by myself, when I was younger, before the band, it was more of a, like, necessity thing than a preference.

I just didn’t really have a good music community around me that sort of was on the same wavelength that I was, not like talent wise or anything, but just like genre and stuff.

So Going into a band, I was really excited for the sound and for all of the possibilities that came with that, but I also had never, like, co written successfully or gotten myself in sync instrumentally with other people in that kind of way, and so that was definitely challenging, but it was really fun once I got the hang of it, and I do think that we Hit this like synergetic level that is really hard to get to by yourself.

Now going back into solo work, it’s been challenging to let go of that, honestly. I do feel like the music that I make by myself has a level of My personality and vulnerability, and experience in it that would be very hard to express if I were doing it collaboratively. So I’m really happy to go back and do solo work. I also have a producer whom I love, and I feel a lot like we’re working together in a big way. So I’m not totally doing it by myself like I was before.

You grew up in Seattle, a city with a deep musical history. Do you feel like that environment shaped your sound or your approach to music?

Yeah, for sure, I think that Seattle musicians are historically really sad, and I think that that applies to me also. Unfortunately, that’s just. You know, like, people up there are emotional for some reason. I mean, I’m not making grunge music by any means, but for sure, there’s just an energy there that carries through.

I love the mix of influences in your background: jazz training, poetry, indie-folk storytelling. If you had to describe your sound in a sentence, how would you put it?

I think that my sound can be best described as a pop, folk, and alternative-influenced, lyrically driven. I think it’s a mix of all those things, but heavy emphasis on the words.

You spent years performing in Seattle’s grunge venues — what’s one gig from those early years that really stuck with you?

The very first one that I did was wild. There was a program at my high school that was honestly a really big deal for me. They sort of programmed all of these shows where local successful artists would headline and the students would be the openers. Which was awesome. Love sharing the stage. Big credit to them. They got me doing a show, with a few other girls at this place called The Crocodile, which is like a really big deal in Seattle. That’s where all of those big grunge bands got their start. It has since been actually torn down and relocated. The venue as a concept still exists, but the original venue doesn’t anymore. So the fact that I just kind of like stumbled into playing one of my first shows ever at this iconic scene that like doesn’t really exist anymore is huge for me.

You mentioned that hunger was the truest analogy for heartbreak inside of Fill. Are metaphors something you lean on often when writing, or did this one just come into play?

Metaphors are definitely something I lean on often in my writing. especially coming from a poetry background as well.

I think a rich image is one of the most compelling things. You know, you probably also got the feedback as a kid, like, to show, not tell. When you’re writing, and that really stuck with me. i think that moments of putting your finger directly on a feeling, literally, and being like, This is how I feel, can be really high impact, but I think to want to create the space before you really reveal the essence of whatever is happening. You don’t want to give it all away immediately, and I think that metaphors are a really good way to touch on a feeling without giving it all away.

Fill is such a striking title. How did you land on that name for the song?

It just felt natural, honestly. I wrote the song and the chorus, there’s that repeating line, I’ve had my Fill, and I was like, well, I guess I have had my Fill.

It’s kind of funny because that’s actually my dad’s name, PHIL,. And I did not really realize that until way after I’d written the whole song and committed to that as a title. So, that’s kind of silly because I’m just saying my dad’s name. But, you know, it is what it is.

You think like a cup, half full, half empty sort of thing. It can be used in a lot of different ways. I feel like it’s a really versatile word. I feel like the intent of the song is pretty versatile, so I like that as a title.

You’ve described Fill as being about resisting the urge to “fill the void” after a breakup. Was writing this song a way of processing that feeling, or did the clarity come later?

The song was definitely me attempting to process the feelings. I didn’t know that that’s how I felt until the song was kind of happening in real time. I went about two months without Processing, like how I felt about this breakup, and if I wanted to get back together with this person or if this was the right idea and then I had kind of this breaking point after a little while and then I just sat down one day and wrote this song.

It was really interesting because the song came before I would have been able to put words to the feeling, and so then I had to step back and be like, oh my gosh, do I actually feel like I’ve had my fill of this situation? And that was huge for me. It was like really therapeutic, really impactful.

Unfortunately, I did end up getting back together with them.

The harmonies were all improvised in the studio, What was that moment like? Did you surprise yourself?

I think I surprised myself with how well everything fit together in the end. If you listen to the song, you’ll hear all these crazy stacks. I improvised all of those things. Relatively separate from one another, and we would get like one line, and then Sam would be like, okay, try something different, and then we’d get another one, and then she’d be like, all right, do something that you think is higher than that one.

They were all removed from each other, and then we would sort of like Frankenstein together some weird combo, and then put more on top of that. The fact that it functioned even somewhat was pretty awesome. I’m really proud of myself for doing that, but at the same time that the jazz background and, and the fact that I’ve been singing with other people in choirs for a long time, I think helped With that a lot, so I’m proud of myself, but I’m honestly not shocked that it worked out that way. I think that if I have any training, it’s in that.

There’s a lot of emotional weight in Fill, but how does it feel to perform it now that you’ve had time away from the moment that inspired it?

I actually kind of hate playing Fill live these days in all honesty. I think it’s come so far in the way that it was recorded, and that really felt like a big healing moment for me. It just was like, oh, here’s this super vulnerable experience that I went through, and then I wrote this song, and the song is good enough to get me into this recording situation and now we’re doing it.

It sounds so much better than I ever could have really imagined. To then releasing it now, all sorts of feels like tying a bow on the whole thing. It’s hard to play it by myself and go back to this, that sort of original state of just being really raw.

So, in a lot of ways, I feel like it is made to exist in this recorded form, and I’m still reckoning with what it is to play it live again, but I’m excited to see how that goes based on how people receive the record.

You’ve got this layered approach to songwriting, pulling from poetry, jazz, and indie-folk. What comes first for you when writing: melody, lyrics, or emotion?

Oh my gosh, that gave me chills, honestly, because it’s emotion and no one’s ever asked me that before. It’s always like, oh, what comes first, instrumental or lyrics, which is a great question, you know, on the technical level. But it is totally the feeling that comes first. I will sit down and mess around on my guitar for maybe an hour or maybe like a month before I can really get a progression that feels like it has that synergy with the feeling that I’m trying to get at.

Then once I have that, the lyrics kind of just happen. Like, everything spills out after that.

It’s getting the raw instrumental sort of chord outline to match the feeling that I have inside of me that needs a home. Trying to go get those things to line up is the biggest challenge, and also always the first step, and it doesn’t work unless that happens.

As someone who plays and composes every instrument, do you ever hear a song fully formed in your head before you record it, or does it evolve along the way?

I think I hear a song fully formed in my head and then actually going in and recording it, especially because I work with Sam, who is not just a technical partner, but a creative partner, I am getting a little bit of input like here and there. I think usually it always ends up sounding similar to how I envision it, but also always uniquely different, which is fun because I love surprising myself. it’s never exactly what I think in my head, but for sure when I get that initial voice memo or something, like a little demo, I’m hearing a bunch of parts that don’t exist in real life yet.

What’s a lyric from Fill that you’re especially proud of?

I’m proud of a lot of lines in this song for sure. But my favorite would probably be the pre-chorus after the second verse.

There’s a line that says. “Honey, I still feel you in the morning when your touch would make my stomach drop.” I think that line really sums up the essence of the song for me. which is that Fill is about a relationship. Where I was both very in love and very comfortable and and very into this other person and also kind of Horrified by them and like emotionally removed, and a little desperate to get out of it and I think the idea of a stomach dropping really fits with those two opposite feelings that the song holds, without giving away one side or the other, which I’m really proud of myself for being able to capture that contrast without like picking a side.

Your stomach dropping could be going down the drop of a rollercoaster and being so excited and filled with adrenaline and loving it or it could be that the sound of like someone walking around your window when you’re trying to sleep at night, and you’re like, oh my god, What’s going on?

It’s immense fear, either in this awesome, thrilling way or this like horrible, I’m gonna die kind of way, and I like that I was able to capture that because that’s how I felt. But I’m not giving away too easily where I land personally on that contrast.

When you look at the music you’re making now versus what you created with Dinner With Me, what feels different?

Dinner With Me was kind of the epitome of just a college rock band. Honestly, I listen to a lot more of that kind of music than the sort of music that I make, which is really interesting. But, yeah, Dinner With Me originated because my friend, Christian, who ended up being the guitarist and co-lead singer, came to me one day and he was like, I’m starting a band because I want to scream, and you’re going to be in it. And I was like, alright, sure! We definitely ended up writing some music where, if you listen to it, there’s no doubt about it that I ever wrote that song but it sounds immensely different.

Your debut solo EP is dropping in spring 2025. What’s the biggest thing you want people to take away from it when they listen?

I want people to take away from it that it is powerful to acknowledge the moments in which you are powerless. The whole thing is a compilation of these really personal moments for me in which I felt like a you know, there’s sort of reflections on what it is to be a perfectionist and a control freak when you can’t be perfect and you’re not in control.. I think most of those situations that are described are reflections on that feeling, and it’s really hard to be in that situation, and it can create a lot of really moving and jarring feelings. I know a lot of people have been in that position, and also a lot of the people who feel like they’re, they need to be in control of a situation often feel like they’re not allowed to be vulnerable or have moments of sadness or disappointment. Um, and I hope that my music can be. Kind of a safe space to do that.

It was for me, at least.

Listen to “Fill” here.